Three weeks ago I won a Treo 650 cell phone from Palm in a contest. Little did I know that winning a cell phone in Canada is like winning a car without keys.
I’m from Norway – a country with more cell phones than people, where every citizen sends over 1000 SMS messages per year and where there are so many carriers that you need professional help just to navigate your options. Between 1997 and 2002 I owned 6 cell phones with 9 services and only changed my number once. When I came to Canada in 2002 I assumed things would be the same. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the Canadian cell phone market was lagging years behind the European one. Not only were there almost no choices when it came to carriers and plans but the phones for sale were the ones I had discarded for newer models years ago. I was baffled. How could a country known for its technological advancedness with a population 7 times that of my own have such poor services? And why was the consuming public putting up with this?
For the next several years these questions kept nagging in the back of my mind but it wasn’t until I had a lucky break at a contest that the madness of the Canadian cell phone market would fully reveal itself to me in all its red tape and bureaucratic splendor.
You would think winning a phone would be a good thing, especially if it was a phone you had wanted to buy for a long time. And it would have been had it not been for the fact that I live in Canada – a country where the carriers treat their customers like ATMs and care little for concepts like customer service and satisfaction. The handset I won turned out to be of the CDMA variety (CDMA being the North America only standard while the rest of the world uses the far more versatile and customer friendly GSM standard) which meant that my initial plan of simply moving my Rogers number with my SIM card from my old phone to the new one wouldn't work. To be able to use my new phone I had to change to a carrier that used the CDMA standard which meant either Bell or Telus. No big deal right? Well imagine my surprise when I found out that moving to Bell or Telus would mean changing my number. Turns out that number portability, which has been the standard in most European countries for close to 10 years and was legislated in the USA in 2003 is not coming to Canada until March 2007. Why you ask? Well, according to the Canadian cell phone carriers, number portability is too expensive. (Never mind the fact that US carriers Sprint and Verizon were forced to lower their surcharge for number portability to $0.25 and $0.05 respectively after it was discovered that they earned a total of $250 million on this service in 2004.) A more plausible reason is that with number portability comes real competition because the carriers can no longer hold their customers hostage by refusing to let them own their own number.
So to use the phone I would have to change my number; a hassle for sure but the added data features easily outweigh the inconvenience. To make an informed decision on what plan to use I went to a local store that carries both Bell and Telus plans. Presented with the handset the clerk was puzzled. “Where did you get this?” he asked. I told him I had won it in a contest. After turning the box around and inspecting the phone carefully he said that it was unbranded. Of course it is I explained. It came directly from Palm. That way I can use whatever carrier I want. Right? The clerk didn’t look like he agreed with me. And sure enough, a couple of phone calls to Bell and Telus later and he presented me with news that was as bad as it was unbelievable. Neither carrier was willing to ad the phone to their system because it was not purchased directly from them. “What you have here,” he said “is a really fancy PDA with a phone feature you can’t use”. How could this be possible? Here I was with a perfectly working phone offering to buy services from both companies and they both turn me down? Because I didn’t buy the phone from them? It made no sense.
Still not believing what I had been told I turned to the people that gave me the phone. The promotions manager listened to my story in disbelief and became very concerned. They had given away several other phones and had plans for future giveaways as well. But if the phones were useless he was worried about what would happen when the winners came back. He promised to look into it and told me not to worry. It would all be sorted out in no time. And sure enough, a couple of days later he called me back telling me he had an explanation: The phone could only be used with Telus. But I had already tried Telus and they refused to ad the phone to their system. Nevertheless I tried again only to get the same answer: “I’m sorry Sir, we are unable to ad new phones to our system. You have to have a genuine Telus phone to use our services.” After speaking to a manager and that manager’s manager I started understanding what was going on. Telus was unwilling to ad my phone to their system because since I already owned the handset they couldn’t tie me down to a multi-year contract. I relayed this information back to the promotions manager who was dumbfounded. He promised to talk directly with Palm and that it would all be sorted out.
Thinking everything would work soon enough I figured that at least for now I wouldn’t use internet and e-mail so I only needed a voice plan. According to Palm the handset would work fine with just a voice plan. Wanting to know more about my options I went to a Telus store. Presented with my situation the woman behind the counter was quick to point out that the phone would not work on their network. I told her to ignore that and tell me what plans would best suit my needs. “Sir, you need a voice plan and a data plan,” she said and offered me a combined one for $80 (excluding hidden fees of course). When I shook my head and told her I was only interested in a voice plan I got a most unexpected reaction: She started laughing. And not a cute laugh either. She was laughing at me the way a bully laughs after filling your school bag with milk. “That’s impossible” she said scowling at me in contempt. “The phone will only work with both a voice and a data plan.” I tried to explain to her that she was wrong but quickly realized it was pointless. On my way out I turned to look for the sign stating: “WARNING! Hostile staff! Enter at your own risk!” but there was none. Frustrated I called Telus customer service: “Well, Sir, technically she is right. Telus has a policy that states that all data products must have a data plan.” I was more confused than ever. “Rogers and Bell allow you to use the product without a data plan but if you want to use Telus you must have a data plan.” So not only was Telus unwilling to let me use their services but if I was to use them they would force me to pay for services I had no use for? The promotions manager wasn’t having any more luck. An e-mail told me I wasn’t the only one having a hard time believing what was happening: “Sorry for all the hassles. We aren’t sure why Telus is being so difficult.”
Three weeks later after numerous attempts and more frustrating phone calls to uncooperative Telus customer service agents I finally get some good news. Apparently the phone had now been added to the Telus network and could be used. I promptly went to a local Telus retailer to get the process started. For what seemed like the thousandth time I explained my situation to the clerk and asked him to make my phone operational. He looked at me with the same “you don’t know what you’re talking about” expression that I've come to believe is the standard response from all Telus people and started punching in the numbers from the phone on his computer. He explained that “phones from overseas” rarely work on the network and that I would probably only be able to access the analog network – no data features. I contemplated pointing out that the phone was not from overseas but from Palm Canada but realized it would be pointless. A few minutes later he glanced up from his computer with a puzzled look on his face. “It seems the phone is in our system after all” he said, as if that was impossible. “Great, so register it” I said. He took the phone and went to his manager asking her what to do. Turns out he has been told he is not allowed to sign up any non-Telus phones. After about 15 minutes and countless phone calls he came back, frustrated. “OK Sir, I will register your phone for you” he said as if I was getting him in big trouble. Reluctantly he walked me through the process and about half an hour later I finally had a fully working Treo650 in my hand.
In the end the whole process took over one month. Had it been a GSM phone it would have taken less than one minute.
More than anything this proves what I’ve been saying all along: The Madness of the Canadian cell phone market is caused by a disease called Corporate Greed and nothing will change until the consumers wake up and realize that they are being screwed over royally by people who see them not as customers but as ATMs. Do I file this under “Frustrating” or “Laughable”?
